A holiday with Terry & June

About 7 years ago we went to France with our friend Shaun, cause Kev and I constantly talked about Millau in the midi Pyrenees he wanted to come along, plus he had just bought a new cabriolet and wanted to take it for a spin. We decided to book into a gay B&B half way down to break up the journey in Burgundy.

We knew it was a gay B&B and naturist friendly too and the owners were called Terry & Tony, and they said via email that we wouldn't miss their house, the sat nav said we had about 20 miles to go but still an hour away, it was all dirt tracks and we saw no life what's so ever until a little house with a veranda with 2 old people on rocking chairs, it was very deliverance. Finally we saw the gay pride flags.

It had started raining slightly but Terry and Tony were there stark bollock naked holding an umbrella, they greeted us warmly and said they will give us a tour of the garden once the rain had stopped. Their house was actually 3 cottages all joined. And apparently it was used in the french resistance. It was a cosy place. We were showed our rooms, Kev and I had a lovely double and Shaun had a little room in the eves of the roof, so we naturally called him Harry Potter from then on. We went downstairs for drinks while dinner was being cooked, it was typically french, cosy lounge, log burner, drinking red wine with our naked host, I would like to point out that Terry and Tony were both in their 70's. We renamed them Terry and June after the TV program. Dinner was lovely and we retired for the night, Shaun was a little worried in case he got raped in the night, but he was fine.

In the morning after a typical french breakfast of a full English fry up we were taken on a tour of the garden, first was the orchard with plastic fruit in the trees, via the overground swimming pool with real ducks in, pass the nudist beach with action men in various sexual positions to the highlight of Terry and June's garden their Japanese garden which consisted of a Buddha on a paving slab with a Japanese acer in a plant pot.

The sun was out, the roof was down and we said farewell to Terry and June and said we can't wait to visit again. And then Shaun put his foot down to drive to the south of France.

We did go back a couple of years later, and we may even go back again,

A gay man without gaydar

Most gay men have an inbuilt gaydar, I don’t, never have and don’t think I ever will have. Seriously if they were naked infront of me flapping their willy in my face I would still have doubts! 

I think the thing is cause everyone knows I’m gay, a lot of the straight blokes I work with can be quite flirty, and I flirt back, I know 90% of them are straight, but then you get a few that I have no idea, that’s the reason I have grindr, just incase someone could be on it that I know, I work in a hospital in the new forest, and believe you me, there’s hardly anyone on it. 

I think it’s I don’t understand straight blokes, and I never know how far to play it, or if it’s just straight bloke banter. I’m easily confused anyway. 

Shame it’s not the 70’s again where there was a dress code. Be so much easier! 

Bored, 

Kev left this morning at 6.30, I left for work at 7am and been home about an hour and a half, had something to eat, hoovered, made the bed, and I’m bored out of my life, he’s just text me saying he just got there, he was stuck in rush hour traffic in Nantes. 

I’ve got almost another week of this, can’t find anything to watch on television, been to the fridge about 5 times even though I’m not hungry. What is wrong with me? 

Chav lad has really pissed me off, he keeps on putting up new profile photos of his hair cut, even though he’s not doing the style that Kev did, Kev cut it in a style, so he just looks like a right knobhead now, it’s a fucking mullet, it seriously looks like an ill fitting wig. But he said this way he looks younger, no you don’t, you still look like a 35 year old fat man trying to dress young in your chav clothes, I feel better now I said that. 

And why is it, when your other half goes away you fancy sex, why do you feel horny when your partners not here? Is it the missing bit? Knowing you can’t have sex? I’ve no idea, anyway, I’m going to look in the fridge again in case something has suddenly appeared. 

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