About two weeks ago we were told that we had a meeting along with a training day along with blood test, now with work I had to have my hep b test etc as I work in a Hospital, but never had any other test, so the latest test includes everything, including HIV, now being a gay man, I know about HIV I have friends who are positive, I had a friend die of aids back in the early 90’s, but I’ve never had a test, I know, I know, but always been careful, but you never know. So I was basically shitting myself. So last Friday was the day, I put on a brave face, my friend always jokes that I have aids because I’m gay, and he also says that he will get it cause he sits next to me, (it’s done in a joking way, you know the more hurtful you are to someone the better, cause you are friends)

So Tuesday this week, a work colleague got an email saying she wasn’t immune to chicken pox, I went to boot up the nearest computer and logged in, everything from my blood test came back clear, it was great. Felt like celebrating, but I know not to be scared of blood test in the future, even though I’ve been having a full blood count blood test every 6 months for my fibromyalgia, but that doesn’t include HIV.

Plus between having the test and finding out the results, my manager told me she wants to me to go up a band, and maybe do a degree. In my head all I was thinking is the blood test is going to be a stop to that. So all good, and at 45 years old, I maybe starting university!

Chav boy is having an affair

So my friend the chav boy, (in his 30’s and still thinking he’s a twink) is having an affair, I found out when he asked if we could have his husband over for an evening, and if he could stay over too so he can spend the night with his new fella. I said no to him, he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, as he wasn’t looking for it, however I did say to him if he was happy in his relationship he wouldn’t of gone on seeing this bloke, it gets difficult when he’s talking about him as he calls his new bloke and husband the same nick names. trouble and Bbe boi, I do correct his spelling and also have mentioned to him that he should come up with a new nick name. He also says he has come of Grindr, I know this is crap as I saved his profile as a favourite so I know he’s on line all the bloody time.

He’s still looking for a job, well he says he is anyway, but he also said there is nothing out there at the moment, and Kev offered him a cleaning job but he turned that down, saying he’s too busy, with what I have no idea, all he does is take his dog for a walk. If I think of anything else, I let people know.

I need to write a script

I need to learn on how to write a script. The things that go on on the camp site where our park home is is unbelievable, it would write itself, I wouldn't even have to change so much, I've always said you could write a book on it, which is something else I may try and do instead, I know my English is crap, but that what editors are for aren't they?

I think it would be a cross between Gavin & Stacey and Benidorm with a bit of Elderado tossed in. Does anyone remember Elderado? I loved it. The thing is, you have people living there, people working there, holiday makers, people not talking to certain people, gossip, seriously the thing would write itself.

It's all kicking off this morning on Facebook on the camp site page. And we are not even there at the moment!

I better get started then.

July’s holiday

Well I'm back to work, I sort of had a good time, but also had a bad time too, strange holiday, started of really well, went to the Puy-Du-Fou evening show, which was great but also quite upsetting, as it was the day before Mums death anniversary, and I know she would of loved it so much, so basically throughout the 2 hour show I was thinking about her. But the show was amazing, and what I didn't know was that it was the 1000th show, plus on Bastille day too!

It was great to meet up with friends over in France and the first 10 days the weather was fabulous, then our friend sharon joined us for the last week. Now in future, I'm never taking or inviting friends to stay, 2 nights maximum is what I can handle, I don't like entertaining, seriously I am crap at it, she was fine, there was no problems, easy going, but I felt I couldn't do what I want with friends staying, I like having my afternoon naps, and she's a veggie, so it didn't help with the food and places we could eat.

Kev organised a surprised party for me for my birthday, I hate surprise parties, always have done, it was nice that he done it though and it was a good night, but I hate being centre of attention, I want to hide in the corner, I'm not a big crowd of people type of person, then I wanted to change what I was wearing to the burlesque night, I felt uncomfortable in what I was wearing as a lot of people said they weren't dressing up, this didn't go down well, and to be honest the last 4 days of the holiday I felt that I couldn't do anything right what's so ever, I'm. It sure if it's that I'm another year older that I'm down in the dumps, but seriously not happy at the moment. Just feel as though I'm in the way all the time or being ignored.

Anyway, need to get back to work

A gay man without gaydar

Most gay men have an inbuilt gaydar, I don’t, never have and don’t think I ever will have. Seriously if they were naked infront of me flapping their willy in my face I would still have doubts! 

I think the thing is cause everyone knows I’m gay, a lot of the straight blokes I work with can be quite flirty, and I flirt back, I know 90% of them are straight, but then you get a few that I have no idea, that’s the reason I have grindr, just incase someone could be on it that I know, I work in a hospital in the new forest, and believe you me, there’s hardly anyone on it. 

I think it’s I don’t understand straight blokes, and I never know how far to play it, or if it’s just straight bloke banter. I’m easily confused anyway. 

Shame it’s not the 70’s again where there was a dress code. Be so much easier! 

Why do we do it? 

Kev is not a hairdresser, but he does cut friends hair, he does mine occasionally when my friend can’t do it, I’m one of these people that get bored quickly, so my idea of hell is being pampered at a hairdressers. 

We got one friend that Kev has now done his hair twice, and he will be back, even though he doesn’t ask for anything, he brings a bottle of prosecco as a payment. And basically it’s just a cut, 

Anyho, a friend wanted his hair cut and coloured, no worries, but could we pick him up a hair dye kit, so me being me bought one, ok it was only £4, but I still bought it, so he came round, by the way this is chav boy, his hair is really thick and always looks very messy, and he always cuts his side burns completely off. 

So Kev decided to cut it first, the dye it, and he done an amazing job, the latest style, shaved back and sides and the quiff on top, it looked really good, took years of our friend and made him sort of semi decent. Kev told him how to style it and what to do, our friend was taking it all in. 

On Facebook this morning, he put up new profile photos of his new hair cut, not in a quiff at all, but messy bed hair look, that doesn’t suit him, and with the shaved back and sides it looks awful, it looks like a cheap wig just plonked on. Because Kev didn’t die the shaved areas the top was a completely different colour. I sent him a message saying “couldn’t you be bothered to style your hair this morning” and his reply was that he preferred it the way he done this morning. On top of that, he tagged Kev in his post saying thank you for cutting his hair, it’s a good job it’s not Kev’s job, as no one would go to him again. We have photos of just after Kev finished his hair, so at least we have proof it did look good for a few hours. 

Rant: Why are gay friends the worse friends? 

A couple of weeks back kev agreed to dog sit for a work colleague of his, it’s only down the road but he had to sleep there, so he was back home at 5.30ish every night for a few hours, as with most people a couple of days by yourself is great, you can watch what you want on telly, run round the flat naked, that sort of thing, but for me any more days I get so totally bored out of my mind, and he was dog sitting for 2 weeks.

All friends knew what was happening and I only heard from one gay friend, as normal his texts were how are you etc then it was all about him and the problems and issues he’s got, but it was the same when kev headed of to France a few days before me in March. None of them got in contact, they only do get in contact when they want something or to bitch about their other halfs, I have female friends but sometimes you want male company, I don’t mean that in a sexual way, but to hang out with a mate, but “so called” 5 gay friends didn’t bother to do anything, get in contact, offer to go out etc. 

I work with a terrific bloke once, 100% straight, married with kids, but as he was so confident in his sexuality he had no problems with me, and vice versa, we used to hang out, saw each other naked, play fights, giving hugs even shared a bed occasionally, nothing happened, but you can’t have that with gay friends, so why are straight male friends better? Cause I really don’t know if I will ever get that again, and that makes me sad. 

Next week kev is heading to France before me again, I’m flying out and not sure yet but kev maybe flying back and I’m staying on for a few days by myself, so I’m going to see what happens, I’m the kind of person that will just drop people if they behave the same way over and over again, I don’t give many 2nd chances, 

When I was by myself in France for 4 days last year, our friends over there were bloody brilliant, in fact it’s the complete opposite, was invited out all the time, fed and watered,

I think deep down, women love the gays, they love to be a fag hag, and gay men love women, and every straight person probably think that all gay men are friends, when really, all a gay guy wants is a straight male friend, we maybe gay, but we are still blokes, and sometimes we need to do lad stuff, it’s not all Eurovision and face packs! 

I may have to put an advert out “straight white male needed to be a buddy” I need a bromance! 

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