Prince Philip is not dead 

Bit of excitement in the uk today, was scrolling through twitter having my morning coffee at work when I saw the news saying important news from Buckingham palace at 8am, so obviously our first thought was that the queen had died, then it could be Philip, 

8am came and went and nothing, then saw it was postponed until 10am, we came up with some other possibilities in theatre while we were waiting, surgeon said it could be Harry announcing his engagement, it could of been Maddie McCann had been found in the palace, the queen converting to Islam, or the queen was getting another corgi, 

We had on sky news on the computer at the live feed, then a very smart coach pulled through the gates, fuck me, it’s lady Gaga! She’s going to be the new queen, the camera then panned to the flag pole, so we were hoping the queen may do a lady Gaga and jump of the palace, 

Then it came through that prince Philip was retiring, is that it? Jesus Christ, we wanted news, I like the queen, I really do, but not really got much time for the rest of them, and retiring? From what? He does a lot, but he also has a lot done for him, no money worries, fed, watered, bed and board, and heating when it gets cold, there is a hell of a lot of pensioners in this country that don’t have that privilege, the world is a funny old place. 

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