Anyone want to come to France? 

A few people know that the next holiday Kev is flying back a couple of days early and I’m staying out there and driving back, it’s only a couple of nights, but as I don’t need to be back to work till the Tuesday and Kev has to be back the Friday before I thought I may as well stay out there, 

Anyway, a gay friend of mine just really annoyed me, he said if I pay for his plane ticket to get over (if anyone does come out, they be driving back with me on the ferry) so he said pay for his ticket, food and drink, plus if I could get him enough cigarettes for his time over he said he will be happy to keep me company, well he can totally fuck off! Seriously what was he thinking. 

Don’t think I would mind so much if he was good looking or a bit of eye candy, or if he wore any decent clothes or didn’t wear any clothes. honestly there is nothing about him that is a turn on, he has no personality, no job and no money, he’s on some benefits, but not a lot, he is just completely unemployable, he goes to bed at 9pm every night and gets up at 3am then moans the rest of the day that he’s been up since 3 and he’s tired, tired! I give him tired, I’ve been tired since 1972!! 

He likes to think he’s a bit of a chav lad, dresses in tracksuit bottoms, t shirt, hoody, non matching socks and trainers, couple of gold chains, bracelets, never wears underwear (doesn’t need to, nothing to support) he calls himself a lad too, in reality he’s 35, overweight, bad haircut and a personality of a pig, why am I friends with him? personally I completely no idea, 

Me and Kev have an open house policy, anyone can come round, we don’t do much in the weekday evenings, come home, get changed, eat, bath then watch telly, mainly films or box sets, then we go to bed, so anyone is welcome, make yourself at home, get your own drink and while you in the kitchen make me a coffee or get another bottle of wine out of the fridge, we do like some notice, as Kev could be sitting there almost or completely naked, I more than likely to be in my dressing gown with the bear hood, but you find us how we are, no airs or graces. 

So Chav lad comes round, never makes himself or offer to make a coffee, plonks himself down on the sofa, leaves his trainers on (we don’t mind shoes in the house but if you staying and vegging out, make yourself comfortable) and I like mens feet, well some of them anyway. Either bare feet or socks, it’s quite nice to look at, and don’t get me started on trainer socks! They can send me wild on the right person, so he sits there, chain drinking coffee, and it’s bloody good coffee, it’s a Nespresso machine, he goes through about 8, I constantly hurting my toe cause his trainers get in the way, (it’s a corner sofa so if you in the corner can be difficult to get up sometimes) moans about his life, his husband, how tired he is, and he’s got no money, well get of your fat arse and do something then, the world doesn’t owe you anything, 

So, anyone fancy a little break in France? I treat you dinner. 😜


The spare bedroom in the van, see it’s quite posh! Got carpets and everything, 

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