I need to write a script

I need to learn on how to write a script. The things that go on on the camp site where our park home is is unbelievable, it would write itself, I wouldn't even have to change so much, I've always said you could write a book on it, which is something else I may try and do instead, I know my English is crap, but that what editors are for aren't they?

I think it would be a cross between Gavin & Stacey and Benidorm with a bit of Elderado tossed in. Does anyone remember Elderado? I loved it. The thing is, you have people living there, people working there, holiday makers, people not talking to certain people, gossip, seriously the thing would write itself.

It's all kicking off this morning on Facebook on the camp site page. And we are not even there at the moment!

I better get started then.

IBS issues

One of the symptoms of fibromyalgia is IBS, I'm lucky I've only got it quite mildly. But from time to time I get issues from it plus bloating and constipation. So after a couple of days of constipation I knew I needed to do something about it, anyway my friend Ant who suffers quite badly with IBS has said that peppermint is very good, and they are these pills you can get from the chemist, just take two and it will work and it's no where as bad as other stuff. So I took two of these peppermint pills early evening, even though I still couldn't go, it did help with the pain.

So of to bed I go, taken my sleeping pill, didn't feel so bloated, so all good, as I lay in bed all comfy I did a little cough. However with that little cough, I shat myself, shay myself, the bed, everything, it was like a fucking bomb going off.

I still have the peppermint pills in the drawer. Only to be used in emergencies, or if someone comes round that I don't like.

A holiday with Terry & June

About 7 years ago we went to France with our friend Shaun, cause Kev and I constantly talked about Millau in the midi Pyrenees he wanted to come along, plus he had just bought a new cabriolet and wanted to take it for a spin. We decided to book into a gay B&B half way down to break up the journey in Burgundy.

We knew it was a gay B&B and naturist friendly too and the owners were called Terry & Tony, and they said via email that we wouldn't miss their house, the sat nav said we had about 20 miles to go but still an hour away, it was all dirt tracks and we saw no life what's so ever until a little house with a veranda with 2 old people on rocking chairs, it was very deliverance. Finally we saw the gay pride flags.

It had started raining slightly but Terry and Tony were there stark bollock naked holding an umbrella, they greeted us warmly and said they will give us a tour of the garden once the rain had stopped. Their house was actually 3 cottages all joined. And apparently it was used in the french resistance. It was a cosy place. We were showed our rooms, Kev and I had a lovely double and Shaun had a little room in the eves of the roof, so we naturally called him Harry Potter from then on. We went downstairs for drinks while dinner was being cooked, it was typically french, cosy lounge, log burner, drinking red wine with our naked host, I would like to point out that Terry and Tony were both in their 70's. We renamed them Terry and June after the TV program. Dinner was lovely and we retired for the night, Shaun was a little worried in case he got raped in the night, but he was fine.

In the morning after a typical french breakfast of a full English fry up we were taken on a tour of the garden, first was the orchard with plastic fruit in the trees, via the overground swimming pool with real ducks in, pass the nudist beach with action men in various sexual positions to the highlight of Terry and June's garden their Japanese garden which consisted of a Buddha on a paving slab with a Japanese acer in a plant pot.

The sun was out, the roof was down and we said farewell to Terry and June and said we can't wait to visit again. And then Shaun put his foot down to drive to the south of France.

We did go back a couple of years later, and we may even go back again,

July’s holiday

Well I'm back to work, I sort of had a good time, but also had a bad time too, strange holiday, started of really well, went to the Puy-Du-Fou evening show, which was great but also quite upsetting, as it was the day before Mums death anniversary, and I know she would of loved it so much, so basically throughout the 2 hour show I was thinking about her. But the show was amazing, and what I didn't know was that it was the 1000th show, plus on Bastille day too!

It was great to meet up with friends over in France and the first 10 days the weather was fabulous, then our friend sharon joined us for the last week. Now in future, I'm never taking or inviting friends to stay, 2 nights maximum is what I can handle, I don't like entertaining, seriously I am crap at it, she was fine, there was no problems, easy going, but I felt I couldn't do what I want with friends staying, I like having my afternoon naps, and she's a veggie, so it didn't help with the food and places we could eat.

Kev organised a surprised party for me for my birthday, I hate surprise parties, always have done, it was nice that he done it though and it was a good night, but I hate being centre of attention, I want to hide in the corner, I'm not a big crowd of people type of person, then I wanted to change what I was wearing to the burlesque night, I felt uncomfortable in what I was wearing as a lot of people said they weren't dressing up, this didn't go down well, and to be honest the last 4 days of the holiday I felt that I couldn't do anything right what's so ever, I'm. It sure if it's that I'm another year older that I'm down in the dumps, but seriously not happy at the moment. Just feel as though I'm in the way all the time or being ignored.

Anyway, need to get back to work

Another holiday coming up 

Started to get things organised, Kev has slightly been driving me mad as he’s in charge of decorating the pub for the moulin rouge party, and there is only so many times you can say “that’s nice” to the same thing. But he’s doing an amazing job, will take photos, 

Do people expect photos on here, as in a blog site? Does it make it more interesting or does it take the blog away so to speak. Views and opinions are welcomed or just tell me to bugger off. 

So, we have quite a bit to take over, Kev had a budget of £200 for decorations, and we came in at £198. So not bad going really. 

Got 2 friends that are interested in buying a mobile home on our site, been invited out to dinner to our friend Kim who has recently taken early retirement from the police force, so she bought a motorcycle and a motor home van thingy to explore Europe and was thinking of a base over there, I’m so jealous, wish I could do something like that, 

Anyway, best go and sort my shit out. 

My sister is mad

I swear my sister has a screw loose, ok I know we don’t see each other much, in fact can’t remember the last time I saw her, it’s never been the same since my nephew was put in prison. Long story, and to be honest, I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to talk about it, anyway, we are still friends on Facebook and sometimes she will message me on what’s app. 

So, she has started to sing in a choir (rock choir) which i think it’s a national thing and they all have local groups. Well, she makes it out that her family is very musical and there’s nothing better than getting her family together to have a sing a long and play musical instruments, she said she used to do this with her family when she was growing up. 

Now, unless I have a crap memory, this never happened, my dad even hated musicals, the first time I saw Mary Poppins was after he died, we had a record player which was updated to a CD player when they came out (my dad had to have the latest thing) but we had about ten CD’s. It was the same bloody tape in the car when we drove anywhere, including the south of France, Elton john album, this could be my reason for my dislike for Elton john. 

Anyway, back to my sister, we never sung, never played any musical instruments, tell a lie, just remembered my dad bought an electric organ thingy, and he played very slowly, very badly. I swear to god my sister thinks she was brought up as a member of the Von Trapp family. I just don’t know here she thinks she was brought up. To be honest I haven’t heard her sing recently, so she maybe good, but judging by my family inability to hold a note, I’m not holding much hope. 

A gay man without gaydar

Most gay men have an inbuilt gaydar, I don’t, never have and don’t think I ever will have. Seriously if they were naked infront of me flapping their willy in my face I would still have doubts! 

I think the thing is cause everyone knows I’m gay, a lot of the straight blokes I work with can be quite flirty, and I flirt back, I know 90% of them are straight, but then you get a few that I have no idea, that’s the reason I have grindr, just incase someone could be on it that I know, I work in a hospital in the new forest, and believe you me, there’s hardly anyone on it. 

I think it’s I don’t understand straight blokes, and I never know how far to play it, or if it’s just straight bloke banter. I’m easily confused anyway. 

Shame it’s not the 70’s again where there was a dress code. Be so much easier! 

It’s a funny old world 

I’m having another Facebook moment, I should delete it, but I’m not strong enough, plus I would only reinstate it 30 minutes later, 

So the ex friend the fake vicar, put on his post about giving blood, as in a blood donation, well I know he’s lying as gay men are not allowed to give blood unless you not had sex with another man for 12 months, and unless his relationship is up the duff. 

But the main thing about Facebook is the politics and brexit, now I voted remain, I like the EU, yes I know they have some issues, but on the whole I like being part of Europe, about being free to go where I want, and also wanting to move to France, I can see people’s view on leaving the EU, but I just hate all the “out now” the people have spoken, get on with it, hard deal, close the borders. (Don’t think they understand we live on an island) 

It just seems everyone is so angry, angry with foreign people, angry with muslims, seems so much hatred at the moment, and also people saying bring back Nigel farage, now he really gets on my goat, can’t stand the little frog face prick, 

Anyway, been off Facebook for ten minutes, I wonder what’s happening? 

The Nags Head

Some of you may know that the TV series “only fools and horses” the pub was called the Nags Head, it is also the name of the on site bar at the site in France, yes I know, sounds so French doesn’t it?? 

The owner who is french but lives in Florida, loved the TV show, so that’s why she called it that. I think it’s awful, this is one of the things I hate about the site, it’s a little England, I don’t like the UK anyway, so to go on holiday to France and stay at mini England is the worst thing for me. But it was cheap, 

The thing is, it’s treated like an English bar, they do snacks there, burger and chips, hot dog, steak, Cornish Pastries, you know typical French fair. Seriously there is not one item of french food on there, not even a crossiant for breakfast, not even a flaming baggette. 

They can’t serve spirits as it would of cost them an extra few grand on top of their license, so it’s wine, beer and cider. 

As the owners are from Cornwall, hence the Cornish pastries, they been doing Cornish real ale and beer. I don’t drink beer, maybe the odd half a larger ifthe weather is nice, and then only one as it’s too gassy and I can’t burp. (Tis true, I am unable to burp) 

I did have chicken and chips there once, it’s one of my favourite meals, normally you get a quarter or a half a chicken, I got a drumstick! And because everything is deep fried, basically it was a chicken bone with chips. My friend ordered steak once, the peas came 40 minutes later as they forgot, my friend never had peas for pudding before. 

They have certain nights there, bingo, quiz night, music, no karaoke as they think it’s common, butvto be honest, I don’t tend to go there anymore, the drink is shit, white wine doesn’t agree with me anyway, so never drink that, i can’t drink the rose or red as it literally taste crap. It’s a shame as it’s so handy. I wish they would do a Moule’s frites night or paella night. It’s cheap and easy to do. But it’s too foreign for them I think. 

I’m going to see what it’s like in July, as it should be up to maximum capacity then, so hopefully it may have some life there. If it doesn’t, I think they should pull the plug and let it die, or just get new managers in. 

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